Sorry for using this as a personal diary but I have to work through this JoJo thing today.
When you work in rescue you know from the door that you can't save all the animals. It is something that you tell yourself everyday with the Euth list comes out. You also try really hard to not get super attached and to work through the ones that are put to sleep. What you don't account for are the ones that you do grow attached to. JoJo was that one that I allowed myself to get attached to because the odds were against him. He was sick with heart worm and had kennel rage. I looked at him and saw a dog that wanted love and to be accepted. This is familiar to me. Growing up in a home where my mother was very sick and died when I was 13 and a father that was a heavy drinker with both physical and emotional abuse I related to JoJo. I know when I was being abused and feeling lonely all I wanted was someone to rescue me. That is how I looked at JoJo. I wanted so badly to rescue him and make sure he no longer felt alone and unaccepted. Things looked ok at first and I thought I found him a forever home to live out his years. Due to circumstances the adopter didn't have a place for him to go until he moved. This left JoJo alone still and sicker by the day.
Today the director called me and he is very sweet and kind and let him live longer because of me. When he called and told me that JoJo couldn't stay there any longer because he was sicker and the kennel rage had gotten out of control I knew what his next words were. He told me that it would be best to put him down. It was a dagger to the heart. I felt like all the promises I made for JoJo were lies and I failed him. He died lonely and sick two things I didn't want for him.
I only want to save the animals from abuse and neglect. I want to one day have shelters close because there are no longer needed. My goal I thought would be easy enough when I started the twitter 1 million follower goal against abuse and for tougher laws. I have been blessed with over 1200 followers since April and growing. I hope to one day reach that goal to show the world that there are at least a million people out there that care and want the abuse stopped.
So where does that leave me today? SAD and feeling like a failure. I know I have saved many animals before and will save many more and yes that is rewarding but I feel like should do more and save more. I will get through this.
This part is directed to JoJo from me........
The animals that you see running with no kennel are your new friends. They will love you and play with you. You will notice you are not feeling sick anymore and that is because you have crossed over the rainbow bridge. Love them back and show them that you are a good boy. Please know that one day I will come there and I will nuzzle you and hold you and kiss your pretty face. Love you from the bottom of my heart and I will continue to work to save your friends here. Run free, cruelty free...Play like the good boy you are... xoxoxoxo
The hardest thing to realize is that you can't save them all but the point is you did try. You gave JoJo a chance that he would have never had without you and now you're right, he's at the rainbow bridge living the afterlife that he deserved during life. One day I'll see him there too and give him all of my love.
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of the work that you do, of the dedication that you show. The JoJo's of the world have a voice now because of you. Don't let grief silence that voice, let it turn it into a mighty roar.
Stay strong and know that you did more than many others would have.
Please know we are behind you. We thank you endlessly for all you do and have done!
ReplyDeleteI'm helping as much as I can with fostering dogs, too, and it's hard for me not to get attached to each one that comes through my door.
With all of the horrific stories I'm reading, I worry for each soul that has come to me, wondering if I just turned them over to an abuser. I can only take comfort in the fact that I gave them a good, happy life, while they were with me, and got to experience someone caring deeply about them.
I'm with you in hoping that one day these shelters will be closed, no longer in need.
I pray, also, that one day abuse will stop. It just tears me apart inside knowing that I cannot help all of those that are helpless. So what I tell myself, I will tell you: Success comes from knowing that YOU DID YOUR BEST to become the best that you are capable of being. Let the beauty of what you love be what you do. Let that which we cannot control not control us.
Keep on trekking with your head held high. Know that you gave your best for JoJo, and believe that he knew it, too.
God Bless you, from Scotland.
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